Buh- Bye

this is the end. but you didn't need this post to tell you that. i've been gone for the past few weeks. what can i say? i lost the blogging bug. actually, i tried to post something - lots of times - and it always came out as me whining. oh boo hoo this. oh boo hoo that. i gett o whine to my family, i dont want to do that to myself. and especially not to my lovely audience. so that's it. im tired of whining so im gonna go. i'm working on a new blog with a new theme.

at least i got to accomplish a few things. i did get to make this kickass design for the blog. i got to post a couple of good posts. made a few friends.... oh and patrick devon's blog is now featuring nice pecs. that could be an achievement. right?

but anyway, a last update on my legs. i dont take any more pain pills, at least, not the strong ones. im trying to put some weight on my legs and im still getting a hunky guy to "raise my spirits."

sorry guys, i wish i blogged this thing until my first steps but i dont want to tempt myself into going all boo-hoo-me.

test. Stable Personality?

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dad. Perseverance?

Yesterday my dad emailed me about perseverance. He said it was something he hoped I developed from this experience. It was my father that convinced me to go through an extra 2 months of recovery so that they could fix my height. (I’ve gotten shorter after the accident) And I’m proud to say that it did teach me that.

It was a hard decision to make. It would mean both more time in recovery and more pain than what was intended for me. I didn’t need it but it would make things better than it would be a few months later. But I went through it, and to make the long story short I happily (and painfully) learned a bit about sacrifice and determination.

Now that the stretching part is over, I’m happy that I went through it. I’ll be back to my normal self when I fully recover and I’ve learned a few things along the way

buhay-talaga. IM BAAACK

I’m back, finally.

The past few days have been the darkness before the light of this whole experience. The last few days of stretching to regain my height have been very taxing. The pain has been concentrated on my feet and has become more… colorful – from feeling like someone was electrocuting my soles, pulling my toenails, or gnawing on my foot joints. And not even the morphine could take that away.

But that phase has ended and it has ended happily. I don’t think I have to take morphine anymore and I am happy that I didn’t get addicted to it. I don’t guzzle down liters of water per day – a side effect when you need to heal fast.

I started to reach out to talk to people. I met this guy and we’re great friends now. He reminds me a lot like Michael. And quite frankly I have a crush on him.

That is all.

pain. My Confession

Pain. I’ve noticed one thing. Every time I talk about my recovery and what happened to my legs, there is always the word pain somewhere in the conversation – whether it’s about the pain medicines or what kind of pain it is. I must be obsessed with pain.

Last night, right after I took Morphine, my mom decided to drop a bomb on me. She was telling me how hard it was for the doctor, which is also her boyfriend, to go through the corrective part of my recovery, even though we are in the last week of that phase. She was talking fast and I was getting sleepy. The conversation had very little balance. She told me how much stress he has every time he sees me in pain when he adjusts the equipment everyday - he just doesn’t want me to see, she says. Then she told me about how low my tolerance to pain is and other stuff. By this time, she was speaking gibberish. So I said “So what’s your point, mom? Tell me what to do.”

“Just be truthful about your pain. If you really can’t handle it, then say so. But if you can, then don’t start going on about it. It stresses out Tito (our name for her boyfriend) because he thinks he’s hurting you and it doesn’t help you either.”

Well, I guess she’s right. Talking about pain and me thinking about it doesn’t help me at all. In fact, the more you think about the pain, the more painful it becomes. And I’ve been guilty of that.

But what can I say? I think it’s a man thing. Some kind of macho bullshit I carry inside of me even though I think I’m too mature (and too gay) to have macho bullshit. The more pain you can stand, the more of a man you are. So maybe if I could show these people that I’m in so much pain, they’ll think “Grabe talaga si Mikey, he has to go through all that pain.”

So there’s my confession. I, D’ken of this blog, am a victim of believing some macho bullshit that more pain makes you manlier. I hereby promise myself to stop wearing my scars because they are no longer attractive, and to remember that pain only makes you more of a man if you can learn from it.

blogs. Sinister Beauty

Evil is Beautiful.

PAYOR posted these nice group of photos of sinister women. And for some odd reason, I love it.


Special Notice to the Leigh Vivian b/w photo near the evil queen from sleeping beauty.

blogs. I've Been A Baaad Blogger

I believe that good bloggers stick to their blog's theme - at least 80% of the time - whether it's "I'm a dead homo boy," "my bitchy comments on my social life," "good art and great pecs," or "everything that interests the modern gay guy."

Now, you might as well should call my blog "blog leeching with asian hotties" when it's really supposed to be about my recovery. I haven't even posted one thing about the accident. hahaha.

But seriously, who wants to read about how many pain killers I take per day? or how the rainy season affects the stainless steel pins impaling my calves? There's really not a lot I could write about and I don't even want to write about it. It just doesn't give a positive attitude (whinning about the occasional tightness and electricuting pain) - but cute asian models do.

So there, that's my defence to the "what do asian guys posing in a jungle have to do with your broken leg" email I recieved a few hours ago.

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And one more thing, about the whole asian guys thing. I post asian guys 'cause... well... there aren't a lot of asian guys. Plus, most guys, even asian guys, dont think we're good looking at all. I wish I could change that but I doubt pharmacies worldwide would donate a certain enhancement drug to a whole race. (the reality is that size DOES matter)

But who knows? Richard thinks that China could be the next PINK GIANT. Maybe when that happens, perspectives would change and I could stop thinking about how some people have a disturbing amount of self-hate and post about Matthew Rush's awesome globes. (then again... why wait?)

15 seconds. Carrie Fisher Moment

For the next 15 seconds, I'm going to have a Gay-Blogging Carrie Fisher moment...

In the world wide web, when it comes to having fans, is it Quality or Quantity that matters?

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Okay back to your adorable pancit-eating asian nose-picker.

music. National Philippine Love Song

Here's my little tribute to my country. Cause the most patriotic thing I have ever done in the past was memorize the station names along the LRT.
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National Philippine Love Song: Harana

Harana is an old Philippine tradition of courting your i-spisyal lab'd Juan - special loved one. The guy stands outside the girl's window at night and serenades her to sleep. At least, that's what I remember. If there's any wrong information, please let me know.

Harana, the song, is the one song almost every Filipino knows. If you don't know it, you're not Filipino - at all. People sing it in concerts almost all the goddamn time. It's the one love song that never went out of style.

Filipino Version:

uso pa ba ang harana
marahil ikaw ay nagtataka
sino ba 'tong mukhang gago
nagkandarapa sa pagkanta
at nasisintonado sa kaba

may'rong dalang mga rosas
suot na may ma-ong na kupas
at naryan pa ang barkada
naka porma naka barong
sa awiting daig pa ang minus one
at sing-along

puno ang langit ng bitwin
at kay lamig pa ng hangin
sa 'yong tingin ako'y nababaliw giliw
at sa awitin kong ito
sana'y maibigan mo
ibububuhos ko ang buong puso ko
sa isang munting harana
para sa'yo

di ba parang isang sine
isang pilikulang romantiko
di ba't ikaw ang bidang artista
at ako ang 'yong leading man
sa estoryang nagwawakas
sa pag-ibig na wagas

puno ang langit ng bitwin
at kay lamig pa ng hangin
sa 'yong tingin ako'y nababaliw giliw
at sa awitin kong ito
sana'y maibigan mo
ibubuhos ko ang buong puso ko
sa isang munting harana
para sa 'yo

foto. Cute Boy

P: Norman Yip
Model: Sean

I'm a sucker for bedhead cuts and white adidas sneakers.

buhay. An Update

I have seriously lost the blogging bug for today. I ran out of material.
But everybody could use a little update on yours truly.

1. The first part of my recovery - correcting the bend and the loss of height in my legs - is going to be over in a little over a week. After that, I'll just have to wait until the bone heals completely.
2. God, I lost weight. The anesthesia makes you feel nauseated for a few days after every surgery. So far I've had three.
3. I found this picture online. Isn't he beautiful? He reminds me of someone - aside from Marc Nelson.
   
   
4. We'll be looking for a personal trainer in around 3 weeks.
5. I have been dubbed the "Queenbee of Fagdom" by Mikey. My ego wants proof. Where are these so-called fans?
6. I have temporarily lost 90% of all feeling in my toes (left side only).

foto. 4 the lack of creativity

I am soo bored today. There is absolutely nothing to post so here you go. A hot asian guy.

Isn't Kevin drop dead gorgeous?

future. Marathon Man

I have decided that after I recover from this whole ordeal, I could take running as a sport.


I could be like... one of those sappy inspirational story thingees.

controversial. Christian I. Ty

Ok after breaking your hearts, I was *inspired* to write about Christianity.


Do you have to sacrifice your identity to keep your faith?
Do you have to sacrifice your faith to keep your identity?

When I was thirteen, I used to volunteer in a hospital that focused on holistic health - which included prayer and worship. If I wasn't answering phones or helping the nurses or the therapists, I went around the hospital with a guitar and a bible in my hand to sing songs and conduct worship with the patients. I, while doing all of this, already knew that I was gay.

controversial. im gonna break ur heart

Towleroad broke my heart... twice. So I'm going to break yours. Unless it's already broken. (if so, just scroll down to the hot guys part.)


Zach Stark and Love In Action:
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Zach Stark (myspace pictures)

You can find their towleroad-blog-story here and here.

But if you're too lazy, here's my version - short and sweet.. Zach is 16 and his parents want him to go to Love In Action, a Tennessee-based religious organization's camp for gay kids.

My Opinion: Well, of course I feel for Zach. My parents were understanding and didn't put me into any program of that nature. But part of me, probably the part that grew up very religiously is saying "Well, how can you blame them?" That's how his parents grew up and that's the only way they were taught to deal with the situation.

Oh and one more thing. I believe that organizations for homosexuals who want to turn straight should exist. Being gay is a choice people should respect, so is not being one. But seriously, going into these things against one's will is whacked.

Zach is still in the Love In Action program and, if nothing happens, will stay until he is an adult in the state of Tennessee.

This is his famous myspace blogpost on the rules of Love In Action.

Gay Youths Hanged In Iran
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Their not-so-sure-if-this-is-true towleroad blog story here.

A blogger writes:

"I just heard in the news about these two gay teenagers being hanged in public in city of Mashad, one of the northern cities in Iran. Apparently one of the guys was noteven 18 years old. According to the article, they spent 14 months in prison and recieved many lashes. They had shown remorse for their action and had no idea getting engaged in homosexual acts will result in death!"

If that doesn't break ur heart then I do not know what will, inhuman-piece-of-scum.

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Aw, still heartbroken? Don't worry. Here's D'ken to the rescue.


Butt:MadeInBrazil Blog

Now if we could only combine those two pics...

See, now cheer up. Look, Peter Corp Dyrendal is happy.


And he wants YOU to be happy too.

foto. I'm A Jungle-Jungle Boy